The Happy Middle: An Introduction

Hello and welcome to The Happy Middle, a

podcast for women navigating the sometimes

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tricky in betweenness of midlife.

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I'm Suzy Darke, a coach, a writer,

and a mother in my late forties, so

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deep in this middle bit with you.

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This podcast is all about normalising

the trickier bits of midlife, celebrating

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the good stuff, and asking how we can

turn the messy middle into a happier one.

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Expect honest conversations, interviews

with some brilliant humans, and stories

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that I hope will help you feel more

supported, reassured, and hopeful.

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So settle down, get comfy,

and we'll get started.

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Hello and welcome to episode

one of The Happy Middle, the

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podcast for women navigating the

tricky in betweenness of life.

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I'm Susie Dart, and I'm so delighted

to be finally here doing this.

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I can't wait to share honest conversations

and interviews and stories about midlife

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over the coming weeks and months.

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I'm not the best at small talk.

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I love deep and meaningful conversation.

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And I think podcast chats are great for

getting to the good stuff really quickly.

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I'm really excited.

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I get to speak with some wonderful humans.

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about all of this midlife stuff

and that's what we're going to be

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doing here on The Happy Middle.

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It's going to be a place for real talk.

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I hope this podcast will help you

feel more hopeful and understood

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and resourced and supported.

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I hope it'll also make you

smile and make you think.

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This first episode, I'm going to

spend just a little bit of time

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introducing myself and telling

you a bit of my own midlife story.

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So I'm Susie.

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I'm a coach.

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I work with midlife women

who want to create braver,

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softer, more meaningful lives.

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I'm also a writer.

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I write about midlife.

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I'm also fledgling novelist.

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I'm writing my first book.

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It's taking forever,

but I'm getting there.

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and I'm a mum.

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I'm originally from Leeds in Yorkshire.

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After years living in London, I finally

found my probably forever home in

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Cornwall, almost at the very furthest

southwesterly tip of the country.

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I live here with my husband and

two kids, and a menagerie of pets.

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We live in a really

rural part of the world.

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In a small village near the coast and I

can see hills and fields and trees and the

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most enormous sky from my office window.

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In many ways I'm embracing midlife.

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I've become one of those middle aged

women who swims in the sea all year round.

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I try to go for a dip

at least once a week.

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I know how lucky I am to be living

in this really beautiful place.

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But still, it comes as a bit of a

shock to me from time to time that

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me, this city girl, has ended up in

a really rural part of the world.

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I still can't seem to dress myself

for country life, and I get these

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mad cravings for concrete and city

skylines and I have to go and visit

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a big city just to get my fix again.

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Sometimes it feels like I haven't

really said goodbye or a proper

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goodbye to the old me or the old

me's who would have looked at this

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life and been really surprised at how

different it is from the one I had then.

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It's different in many good ways.

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but also different in some other ways

that feel less tiny, less steady.

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And I think it's because I'm at that

age when it's natural to look back

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at everything that's happened and

look forwards towards what I hope

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to make happen with the next bit.

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And this is ultimately

what this podcast is about.

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It's often tricky in between this

that we find ourselves in with

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all the longings and the losses.

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And also all the potential and

the possibility, but I'll tell

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you a little bit about my own

messy middle, my messy midlife.

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I think I was 38, 39 when I started

to feel this real tug to pull

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everything apart and start again.

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And there were quite a

few drivers behind this.

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I can point to, I'd become a mom at 35.

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And I was finding it really hard

to juggle motherhood and career.

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I think my hormones had

gone into overdrive as well.

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motherhood, approaching perimenopause.

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I've had wobbly mental health

since my teenage years.

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I had no clue that it

was so hormonally based.

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I'm of that generation that tended to

ignore or endure our monthly cycle.

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Thank God, now we all have the

encouragement and the ability to track

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and understand how it affects us.

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But back then, I had literally no clue.

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the PMDD symptoms I'd struggled

with since my teenage years.

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started to go into overdrive

in my late thirties and PMDD

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is this extreme form of PMT.

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It's like PMT on steroids.

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It's an inherited condition and

it affects around 1 in 20 girls,

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women, menstruating people.

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But I had no idea that

it was even a thing.

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I had this really frightening

episode and somehow, thankfully,

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Google led me to this definition of

PMDD and it really saved my life.

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I had a couple of years of trying all

the different treatments available, and

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then I ended up having hysterectomy,

and going into surgical menopause at 41.

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I am reporting to you from the other side.

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And, I can say that starting my 40s

without my usual emotional hellcoaster of

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monthly periods was a real biggie for me.

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It was like waking up, felt like I'd

just been drifting for a long time,

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being blown by the wind, just trying to

get through like the monthly onslaught.

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And all of a sudden there was

space, to think and to dream and

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to imagine, and this real sense

that there was more I wanted to do.

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And I also found this creative part of

myself, woke up and started demanding

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some room so I could do its thing.

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Anyway, a few short years later, after

those first stirrings of my own messy

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middle, life looked completely different.

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So we've moved to the other side of

Cornwall, I've quit my job, I've had

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a hysterectomy, grown a business as a

freelance copywriter, and then I realized

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I didn't really want to do that work

anymore and I've retrained as a coach.

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I'm 46, almost 47 now, post menopausal

and enjoying that immensely.

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Some days I feel this peace,

like I've never known before.

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And other days I feel this

primal rage that I haven't

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felt since my teenage years.

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Sometimes I feel like I've arrived at

the answer and everything makes sense.

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And other times I can't even remember

what the question is supposed to be.

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I'm definitely not done yet.

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I'm definitely still in this middle

and some days it feels really

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bloody messy, others it feels

really good and full of promise.

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A Happy Middle, the name of this podcast.

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I wanted something that felt like

a hopeful resolution of the messy

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middle, not the perfect resolution

because this isn't going to be a

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podcast about doing midlife perfectly.

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Of course, we're going to be celebrating

all the good bits about our power years.

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about us not giving so much of a damn

anymore, about the new freedoms we

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experience as we leave our younger

selves behind and leave maybe

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outdated parts of us behind too.

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But we're not going to be

ignoring or bypassing the

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sticky bits and the hard stuff.

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We're going to be talking about all of it.

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and finding our own happy middle,

however that looks for each of us.

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So I can't wait to share the conversations

and the stories I have lined up for coming

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episodes, and I'm really looking forward

to navigating this middle bit with you.

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So until then, take care, and I

hope to join you again very soon.